London Diaries｜Having a long-distance relationship with God
Moving from city to city has made long-distance relationships a pattern in my life
It seems that I keep experiencing long-distance relationships in different seasons of my life. To begin, there was a four-year college boyfriend. It came to an end when I began working abroad, continuing a year of distance.
After that, during my floating stage in Shanghai, a few men passed through on their way around the world. None of these relationships hurt me because I have prepared for the day when they may leave. We came up with the word ‘exclusive’ to describe this perfect cosy friendship. After their work was done in Shanghai, they moved back to their countries or to the next destination somewhere around the world.
With some of them, I tried to keep up romantic ties, but none of them worked. Instead, they, long-distance relationships, have become a pattern or a curse in my life ever since.
▍Set aside time with God
This time, unlike the past, was extremely painful because I didn’t anticipate the day would come to an end.
As I was getting settled in London, I tried to come up with a way to stay connected with the person I love in Taiwan. The more I tried, the more I pushed him away without noticing it, until he ended the relationship.
‘Why weren’t you able to commit more time to me? Is that too harsh?’ As I pondered the question in my heart, another came to mind: ‘Perhaps... God is asking me the same question?’
Suddenly, I noticed that I had placed the wrong priorities in my life.
I placed my loved one ahead of God. I wasn’t spending the same amount of time with God as I was asking him, my loved one, to spend with me.
In a sense, aren’t God and I also in a long-distance relationship?
▍I thought what I did was enough
All relationships need effort, no matter whether the cost is time or attention.
I genuinely thought that my efforts to improve my relationship with God were sufficient. Every week, for example, I go to church, small group, Christian book club, Bible study, and serve in children’s ministry.
However, since moving to London, most of the activities that I used to enjoy are no longer possible. Drawing those brothers and sisters out of my life basically cuts off my connection with God.
But this realisation came only after I was placed in complete isolation, which became even clearer after he left.
▍Treat God as my other half
After having the idea of developing a relationship with God as my significant other, which God is supposed to be, but I wasn't treating Him like one.
In the past, reading his messages would get me ready for the day, and hearing his voice would send me to sleep at night. Right now, I am beginning to shift my daily routine from him, my (pre) beloved, to God.
Practice begins.
Even though I’m still sluggish in bed in the morning, I’d randomly choose a sermon from YouTube to wake me up. After breakfast, I would re-listen to the same sermon to take important messages before leaving for uni. Finally, after a long day, I would wind down with Bible study in bed.
On a daily basis, I try to seek God first in all circumstances. When I can’t stop missing him, I go to God first. When I’m having a mental breakdown and need to talk to someone, I go to God first.
▍Changes begin
This was where, for the very first time, I started to hear the voice of God.
Since then, my life appears to have begun a new chapter. This changed not only because I did what a Christian should do, but because I did it intentionally and continuously. Starting on the first day I decided to set aside time for God and continuing until today.
And God uses His voice as a response.
Two months have passed since my romantic relationship ended, and the same amount of time has passed since God began constantly speaking to me.
I was afraid that my life would be trapped in the pattern of a long-distance relationship, but I believe that because I began a new pattern with God, with His divine power, I will be able to break the curse one day.
