London Diaries｜‘I’m your light.’ God said
The word ‘light’ caught my attention. I felt like God was trying to tell me something.
It was typical British weather.
The sky was dripping, tiny drops that are neither too big to require an umbrella nor too small to be disregarded when they land in your eyes.
I clutched the paper bag tidily in my arms, afraid that the rain would soak it. Two of my new baby plants were laid inside the bag. On my way home, I kept praying to God, ‘Dear Lord, even though there is no light in my flat, you will be their light, you will be their nourishment. Please look after your children; don’t let them wither in your care.’ I repeated the same prayer over and over again till I got home.
Having plants in the flat has always been a dream of mine, but since there is not enough light in my room, I’ve given up on this thought. However, these days, I feel like I might die before getting my future plants. ‘No matter what, I need something alive in my life.’ I told myself.
Before going to bed, I put them beside the window, ensuring that they would get the only remaining light in my room in the morning. When I rolled up the curtains the next morning, I saw an incredible scene. All the leaves were facing towards the window, like kids raising their tiny hands to worship God.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
The same night, I got the fairy lights from Amazon. In order to save money, I have tried not to buy anything unnecessary unless I need it badly.
Now, with the wintertime visit, I guess ‘light’ can be my necessity.
I stand on my swivel chair, trembling, trying to find balance while sticking the light from the front door to the window. After climbing up and down in my room like a little monkey for about an hour, I finally hung them all on the wall.
With classic Christmas music playing, I gave myself a proper Christmas lighting ceremony.
When the lights all turned on at once, a general smile spread from my heart, a wave of joyous warmth swept through my body—a joy I hadn’t experienced for months.
Before going to bed, I opened YouVersion. It was my Bible study time. Unexpectedly, one verse popped into my eyes: ‘Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path’ — Psalms 119:105.
Suddenly, the word ‘light’ caught my attention. I felt like God was trying to tell me something these days.
I know God will be my baby plants’ light, but I forget God is also my light of life. When every little thing comes together, I realize what God wants me to know! He wants me to learn that He will be the light in my darkest season, and all I have to do is look upon Him as my little plants do, raising our hands in prayer and worship.
After that day, I started to feel things in my dead heart, slowly.
I started to care for the two new lives in my life. I started to decorate my flat and felt at ease staying there all day. I started to feel hungry at every mealtime. I started to dress up even though I didn’t feel like it. I took out my jewellery box, which had been in my suitcase for months since I arrived in London and had never been opened.
Magically, I found my senses back, bit by bit.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for letting me experience You in the ordinary moments of my day. It’s often the simple, unexpected moments that bring the greatest joy. Thank you for sending me the message I needed to hear at the perfect time. Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path, and I shall not be afraid of darkness no matter where I am.
God, I pray that Your light will chase away the darkness; that You will be the lamp for my feet, drawing me out of the gloomy cave. I pray that You work in my dead heart and give me the ability to feel the world once more.
In Jesus' name, I pray, Amen.
